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Talk:Bukit Brown Cemetery

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Bukit Brown Cemetery/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Actuall7 (talk · contribs) 12:24, 14 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Chipmunkdavis (talk · contribs) 09:19, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]


Starting this review. There is one FA cemetery article and a couple of GA articles which I will be looking at as potential examples. As initial notes, the lead will need some editing, it has some puffery language ("lush vegetation and diverse wildlife") and a few areas where the text jumps around a bit or isn't clear. The lead also currently doesn't cover the Traditional practices section. At a quick look through the body, the sourcing appears comprehensive, aside from two notes. There are other areas copyediting could be used for flow. "Bukit Brown Cemetery" does not need to be in every caption. Looks to be a decent selection of images. CMD (talk) 09:19, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, thanks for taking this up. Actuall7 (talk) 09:47, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Chipmunkdavis, I've edited the lead to include the Traditional practices section and changed some captions. Actuall7 (talk) 01:37, 17 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

As noted above, the prose on this article needs work to meet GACR1a. Some examples:

These are just examples, there is a need to go through the rest of the article as well. I have noticed an overuse of the word "also". The source I checked above for the English/Malay names also suggests that there may need to be further checking here. I am concerned rewriting and checking might take more than the weekish usually expected at GAN, and I do think it might be worth asking for a WP:GOCE check. Would you have thoughts on the timeline? CMD (talk) 09:34, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback, regarding the timeline, I'm not too worried about how long it'll take. If you're busy, you can take your time, I'm not in a rush. Regarding the prose, I'll fix the problems addressed. Actuall7 (talk) 10:02, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I am not planning to review the entire article in this way, the prose should ideally be fixed prior to review. CMD (talk) 10:49, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry, I was unaware that there were so many issues with the prose, don't hesitate to fail the article currently so that I can fix the issues regarding the prose. For what it's worth, I have edited the issues previously mentioned. If possible, do you have any other comments about the article so that I know what I should focus on? Actuall7 (talk) 11:17, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for the response, and good luck with the article. Overall it looks quite decent and has a lot of interesting information. There is only one cemetery FA, Oakwood Cemetery (Troy, New York). Currently, this article seems broadly to cover the same topics as that article, and in some cases has a bit more, except for Geography. This could be a section explaining in more detail where the cemetery is, any internal structure to the way the graves are laid out, what is nearby to the cemetery on Mount Pleasant, and how the cemetery intersects with the MRT and road systems which caused parts of it to be damaged. Perhaps File:Aerial photography of Bukit Brown Cemetery.png would help in such a section. Aside from that I like the images. You may be able to ask the kind people at WP:Graphics lab if they can assist with the watermark on File:Chinese temple at Bukit Brown Cemetery.jpg. Best, CMD (talk) 11:48, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for your comments, I'll make sure to fix these issues before I decide to submit it for GA again. Actuall7 (talk) 11:55, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]