Wikipedia:Top 25 Report/March 24 to 30, 2019

This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

Prepared with commentary by igordebraga

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Kickstart My Report

Seems like nearly every April Fool's the servers who provide us with the WP:5000 decide to prank us and make this report harder to make. So through other means (and getting only one article wrong!) we compiled a list whose top topic is the sex, drugs and rock n'roll of Mötley Crüe (#1, #3-6), currently documented in a Netflix biopic (#19) - the streaming service also gives us the sad story of a missing girl (#16), the sci-fi story of a returning missing woman (#23), and two true crime stories (#7, #25), matching the returning ones made by Hulu (#8) and HBO (#20). And speaking of old topics getting paired, the returning Marvel articles (#10, #18, #21) are now joined by a DC release (#13), the wrestling entry (#12) is matched by actual sports (#9, #15), and Freddie Mercury (#14) is paired with a male singer (#23) in the great choir in the sky (#11). The latest hit horror movie (#2), a teenage chanteuse (#17), and our Indian friends preparing to vote (#22) complete the Top 25.

Rank	Article	Class	Views	Image	About
1	Mötley Crüe		2,176,109		Back in 2005, someone asked "When did Mötley Crüe become classic rock?" In the years ever since, with good old rock n' roll falling from proeminence, many certainly long for when radios played this hair metal band famous for doing lots of drugs, groupies and songs such as "Dr. Feelgood" and "Girls, Girls, Girls". And Netflix is now helping people either remember or meet the Crüe through the biopic The Dirt (#19).
2	Us (2019 film)		1,928,747		Along with falling from #1 in our report, Jordan Peele's (who narrowly missed at #26) Us also went to second place in the box office. Albeit on Wikipedia, the movie that beat Us didn't even break 350,000 views - seems like Disney's latest live-action remake didn't strike our readers as much as red clad doppelgängers carrying scissors.
3	Nikki Sixx		1,485,904		How adequate, the four guys who formed our #1 are all in succession. The bassist and main lyricist (and thus the biggest focal point in our #19), who once died of an overdose, was revived with adrenalin and yet didn't give up on the drugs. The singer, whose drunk driving killed another musician. The guitarist, who is borderline normal aside from a spine disease that made the band give up on touring a few years ago. The drummer, a party animal whose marriage to Pamela Anderson has been eternized in a sex tape.
4	Vince Neil		1,383,396
5	Mick Mars		1,320,444
6	Tommy Lee		1,318,536
7	Bonnie and Clyde		933,855		Another subject of a Netflix film. Well, the antagonists, given The Highwaymen focuses on the two Texas Rangers - played by Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson - who tracked down this famous outlaw couple and eventually showered them with bullets.
8	Murder of Dee Dee Blanchard		874,161		From Netflix to Hulu, the crime depicted in The Act. Long story short, Dee Dee (portrayed by Patricia Arquette, pictured), spent 24 years fabricating illness and disabilities on daughter Gypsy Rose (Joey King), claiming she had the mental development of a child, before Gypsy Rose had enough and killed her with the help of an online boyfriend.
9	Tacko Fall		808,612		For all the ratings and bets it inspires, March Madness rarely brings in entries. This year was an exception, as people got intrigued by this Senegalese basketball player who is ridiculously tall - 2.29 m/7'6" - and helped the UCF Knights nearly upset the more traditional Duke team.
10	Captain Marvel (film)		797,663		Again Marvel gambles on an oft-neglected type of lead before the Avengers and makes one billion dollars - last year it was a black superhero, this time it's a female. And it's pretty clear audiences can't wait to see Brie Larson's Carol Danvers beat up Thanos in our #18.
11	Deaths in 2019		734,331		I believe Them Bones are me Some say we're born into the grave... (I searched for a Mötley Crüe quote, but the best choice of song was co-written by Simple Plan, and thus I refuse on principle)
12	WrestleMania 35		645,730		Hope the people watching at MetLife Stadium next week take heed of John Oliver's words and chant for their favorite wrestlers to get better work conditions.
13	Shazam! (film)		608,512		From Marvel's Distinguished Competition comes the story of their Captain Marvel (though he started elsewhere), who for obvious reasons (#10) has been better known for the word that triggers his transformation, Shazam! (and no, discovering song titles is not among his powers - or is it?) The film adaptation comes out this week in theaters.
14	Freddie Mercury		589,022		Like our #1, a rock star who had a movie about him. Though given Queen was a much less contentious band, Mercury's biopic was a theatrical release that in spite of all its flaws made heaps of money and even won awards. That being said, Queen drummer Roger Taylor has approved Mötley Crüe's movie (#19).
15	Rob Gronkowski		575,995		AKA "Gronk", an American football tight end who was the New England Patriots' second best-known player after the husband of Gisele Bündchen, and announced his retirement, having won three Super Bowls.
16	Disappearance of Madeleine McCann		567,079		In 2007, a British family vacationing in Portugal had three year old daughter Madeleine suddenly vanish from her room. Everything is still unsolved to this day, as detailed by a Netflix eight-part documentary series, The Disappearance of Madeleine McCann. Hope one day this mystery gets a conclusion, instead of finishing the most depressing way possible.
17	Billie Eilish		551,027		At just 17, this singer-songwriter who already has many successful songs to her name just released debut album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?. Teenage hitmaker with the surname O'Connor, seems familiar.
18	Avengers: Endgame		509,382		It's official, the culmination of 21 Marvel movies (#21) will be 3 hours long. Hope it won't feel like certain movies that don't warrant being this endless.
19	The Dirt (film)		493,854		The one reason for all the views for Mötley Crüe (#1), a Netflix adaptation of the band's eponymous autobiography, starring Douglas Booth (pictured), Daniel Webber, Iwan Rheon and Machine Gun Kelly, as our #3-6, and featuring all of the band's debauchery. Reviews have been mixed, and the film does have its share of questionable choices (there's no Pamela Anderson, and Vince Neil's daughter apparently spends half a decade being 4 years old).
20	Elizabeth Holmes		476,758		HBO released documentary The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley, about this health industry entrepreneur who in 2015 was worth $9 billion, and one year later had no net worth at all as they found out her company Theranos wasn't delivering the promised goods. There's also a movie on the works, with Jennifer Lawrence attached to play Holmes.
21	List of Marvel Cinematic Universe films		474,628		For the last 11 years, Marvel Comics fans have known in advance what lies ahead for their superhero movies. And yet while the 2019 releases are clear (#10, #18, and Spider-Man: Far from Home), the 2020 slate hasn't been announced .
22	2019 Indian general election		462,197		Our South Asian friends will elect their representatives for more than a month starting on April 11 (can't blame it for taking so long, it's just too many people - the last election had 814 million votes!).
23	Scott Walker (singer)		442,682		This American-born British singer-songwriter died at the age of 76, crowning quite the career, going from 1960s teen pop icon to 21st-century avant-garde musician.
24	The OA		439,954		Netflix again, this time a returning science fiction series co-created by and starring Brit Marling (pictured) as a woman who after seven weeks missing, returns cured of her blindness and claiming to have visited an alternate dimension.
25	2012 Delhi gang rape		431,356		We finish this with a combination of India, Netflix and horrifying crimes, as the streaming service released Delhi Crime, depicting the police's search for the monsters who violently molested a 23-year-old female to the point she died two days later.

• This list excludes the Wikipedia main page, non-article pages (such as redlinks), and anomalous entries (such as DDoS attacks or likely automated views). Since mobile view data became available to the Report in October 2014, we exclude articles that have almost no mobile views (5–6% or less) or almost all mobile views (94–95% or more) because they are very likely to be automated views based on our experience and research of the issue. Please feel free to discuss any removal on the talk page if you wish.

Note: If you came here from the Signpost article, please take any discussion of exclusions to this article's talk page.